Oh boy, something (somewhat) controversial yet completely trivial.
So, I watched the new auction scene that has been inserted into Walt Disney World’s The Pirates of the Caribbean ride. This new scene has been the subject of a lot of attention recently because the original scene that it replaced was arguably the most iconic and memorable section of the ride. It was funny, had memorable characters, and a bunch of infinitely quotable lines of dialogue. It just had one small, teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy problem.
It depicted a sex slave/wench auction… at a family friendly Disney park… in 2018. That’s… really not okay. At all. At. All.
If you need a refresher, or have never been on the ride, here is the original scene:
And here is the new scene:
This scene change is also coming to the Disneyland version of the ride late this month (April 2018).
Now, I can see what the Disney Imagineer’s tried to do here. They made the Redhead more than just an object to be bought, which is fantastic, and I applaud them for giving her some agency and driving the scene with her words rather than with her sex appeal.
But honestly, the rest of the scene is not very good. Yes, it’s better than an auction of crying Audio-Animatronic women waiting to be sold to drunken pirates, but the overall writing/dialogue for the new scene is in itself is just… well… dull. It’s not clever. It’s not funny. It’s not quotable. I love a good pun as much as anyone, but “Quit your cluckin'”? Really?